Turn Your Setbacks Into Comebacks
Which is harder, mustering up the courage to ask for something or dealing with rejection?
By Hubert Kang
“I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection.”
— Billy Joel
Which is harder, mustering up the courage to ask for something or dealing with rejection?
Most would agree that both are difficult.
In 2015, Jia Jiang became something of an Internet sensation with his TED Talk, "What I Learned From 100 Days of Rejection."
If you haven't seen or heard it, Jiang constructed a series of everyday public challenges with the ultimate goal of overcoming his intense fear of rejection. He recorded the experiences and shared them on YouTube.
Some were pretty hilarious:
Going to his favorite burger restaurant and asking for a "burger refill."
Approaching a security guard in an office building to borrow $100.
Asking a Manager at Costco to let him speak over the Intercom.
Knocking on a stranger's door and asking him to play soccer in his backyard.
In the 4 challenges above, Jiang received 3 "No's" (the backyard soccer request got a Yes).
At the end of his 100-Day Challenge the final score read, Yes - 51, No - 49.
The art of turning initial setbacks into comebacks is like exercising a seldom used muscle.
So, what happened exactly?
As each ridiculous challenge unfolded one after the other, Jiang became that much more emboldened, that much more confident and convincing with strangers than he was when he started.
Which leads us back to the original question: As a Business Owner are you facing more difficulty in making daring asks, or dealing with the "No's?"
How many of the big bold asks for your business are directed at yourself vs. others that might be willing to help?
Is there a rejection you received earlier in your journey that is holding you back, something keeping you from making future asks?
Rejection produces energy and emotion.
Practicing how to reclaim that energy and investing it where it matters is the key.
2 Takeaways
1. Avoiding Rejection Is Worse Than Receiving It. No is always better than not knowing. Potential partnerships, new clients, and innovative ideas could all result in amazing wins. Or, missed opportunities and wasted resources. When you talk yourself out of pitching, asking, and participating, you can almost guarantee rejection. Rejection is a part of growth.
2. Don't Be Ignored By The World. In his own words, Jiang says this is the best lesson he has learned from rejection. On his blog he writes, "When we shy away from rejection, we reject ourselves and our ideas before the world ever has a chance to reject them."
1 Action
Start Thinking About Setting Rejection Goals for Your Business. Stop referring to them as "No's" and instead chalk them up as: Bold Actions Learning Experiences Moments of Resilience When you reframe a negative and assign new labels, over time - it might improve your confidence and change your outlook.